Nah!
Don’t do that.
Don’t blame who YOU CHOSE to be on what happened to you.

Why not?

Because no matter what happens to you. 

You chose what you become because of that.

I know it goes against current, politically current ideologies in this time and age.

But I believe this to be true on a molecular level.

Because while an argument might be made for us being different ways broken because of our past. 

The same argument can be made for who we are to become.

While sometimes we have very little control over what happens to us. 

We have absolute control over how we react to all the hurt,pain and hardship we face. 

Yes! Even that reflex to snap right back is a decision you make, no matter how quick.

Am I watering down the trauma you’ve had to overcome and in some cases carry? 

No! Definitely not! 

Am I telling you to forget all the bad that’s happened in your life?

No!

I’m not asking you to do that either.

I’m making an argument for you to use all the negative emotions as fuel. 

Fuel to drive you, fuel to keep you wanting better for your future self.

Forget about everyone else who is reliant on you to be sane right now. 

Yes even your child and or close family members. 

Take a moment to look at you. 

Scour your being, amass all that troubles,gather all that’s brought hurt to you, muster the strength to drag out the demons from the depths of your darkness and plunge headfirst into all the trauma. 

NO!

Don’t rush to the surface. Not yet.

Don’t come up for air.

Let go of all that would bring you to the surface and immerse yourself in all that defines you.

Marinate in that trauma and let the trauma soak through your body. From your head to your toe.

Don’t close your eyes, don’t keep the darkness out. 

Keep those eyes open.

Put a face to that situation.

Recognize the source of that pain.

Pinpoint where you gave in to this being.

You got that image?

The image of what you look like with all that trauma and darkness. 

Now with that image vivid, ask yourself how you’re still here?

How is that being you just imagined still standing?

How does that being function?

Where does that being get the strength to rise and drag itself out of bed each day?

Why does this broken,abused and deformed being even bother making it to the end of the day?

Because each and everyday YOU CHOSE TO!

Yes YOU!

That broken,abused and deformed being makes a choice everyday, in spite of all it suffers to make it to the end of the day. Even if that’s all that being can muster that day.

Yet 8 hours later. 

With 2 hours sleep and a worrisome, drained and exhausted soul YOU CHOSE to wake.

YOU chose to rise with all you have left to face yet another day.

Another day of struggle,

Another day of worry,

Another day of pain, and

Another day of feeling inadequate and unworthy.

And YOU do this everyday.

YOU do this even though your heart has been ripped from your chest,

YOU do this even though you feel so empty,

YOU do this even though it seems pointless.

But If you’ve read this far then you are starting to understand why.

Because every morning, when you rise to that broken,abused and deformed being, there is an essence that stirs within you.

It is almost just a whisper, so soft, yet so fierce, it is the crutch with which you squirm to your feet with.

Yes!

You know exactly what I’m talking about!

But how does this essense raise you to your feet?

How does it come to you at your lowest?

What is the source of that essence?

This essence rises from a depth deeper than your darkest nights.

Battered, bruised and scared yet so firm.

This is the light to your darkness.

The hope of your despair.

The solution to your problems.

It is the strength within you that never gives up, that keeps pushing forward even when you feel like giving up. 

This essence is the belief in yourself and your ability to overcome any obstacle. 

It is the unwavering determination to succeed and the courage to face your fears.

While the world shifts the responsibility for its shortfalls to past trauma. 

While the world examines and explains to you who you are based on what has happened to you.

Remember, that just as you are that broken,abused and deformed being you are also that fierce whisper. 

This essence is always within you, waiting to be called upon when you need it the most.